Blahbidy Blah. That's how I feel today. Why?
- It's Monday.
- I have so much work to do that I don't even know where to begin. So, instead of just beginning somewhere, I've done nothing.
- I didn't go to the gym this morning. I was going to go after work instead, but then I sort of volunteered to go for a bike ride with my mom instead. Now I wish I didn't because I have the distinct feeling that a certain someone that I DO NOT want to see will be there (see #6 below). I just want to go home and be alone instead. I need to come up with an excuse to give her ASAP. Maybe not feeling well? That's always a good one and not entirely inaccurate (see #7 below).
- I've eaten 4 muffins today. Yes, four. In my defense, they are ridiculously good and I rarely bake, so this isn't a common occurrence. But, yes, I've eaten four already. All the more reason that I should go to the gym. But odds are that I (1) won't go to the gym and (2) will eat more muffins.
- I got in a stupid fight with John yesterday. We had such a wonderful weekend in VT and then I ruined it by being grumpy and picking a fight on our drive home. In my defense, I was somewhat justified in my argument, but I certainly didn't approach it in the best manner possible.
- I'm so disappointed in my mom I can't even stand it. She's back on good terms with the wretched ex and I am so disgusted with her for taking his lame self back. She claims that they aren't back together, but I know that it's only a matter of time. How am I supposed to embrace and be nice to a person who has broken my mom's heart repeatedly, walked all over her, taken advantage of her kindness, treated her like crap, mooched off of her, and been an all-around worthless piece of you-know-what? I know that it's only a matter of time before this causes a rift between my mother and I because I, unlike her, can't just forget everything and pretend like nothing happened. Just thinking about it, and her inability to respect herself and kick him to the curb for good, makes me sick.
- I think I've sort of been in a rut/funk the past few weeks or so that is affecting everyone around me (especially John). I'm pretty sure I know why (reasons that I'm not comfortable sharing) and I don't really know how to make my "problem" go away right now, or at least not bother me so much. John knows what this "problem" is, but he just doesn't understand and he is, quite frankly, no help at all. In fact, talking to him about it just makes it worse, so I've been exercising every ounce of restraint in myself not to bring it up with him. And, I don't really feel comfortable talking about it with anyone else, so I just bottle it up inside, but now I'm at the point where I want to explode. I know that this "problem" will eventually work itself out, but not knowing when and not being able to effectively deal with it until that time comes concerns me. How am I supposed to go about my everyday life like nothing is wrong when this is always on my mind? I know I am being over-dramatic and ridiculous, but I can't help it. This is just how I feel.
- I just found out today that my job title is changing from "Compliance Consultant" to "Operations Consultant". How lame of a job title is that? Nobody will have any clue what I do.
- These stupid allergies are making me bonkers. I seriously could not breath yesterday, which no doubt contributed to my misery.
- I hate to be in a mood like this. 99% of the time I am such a positive and happy person, so feeling like this makes me feel even worse because I hate feeling like this.
