Well, the festivities planned for this evening have been cancelled due to the threat of severe thunderstorms. Boo!
I was really looking forward to tongiht...having a party, seeing the fireworks, etc...but it really makes no sense to have everyone over just to be cooped up in my house while the weather rages outside. I am hopeful that they will reschedule the fireworks for next weekend...the rain date was originally supposed to be this Sunday, but the weather for Sunday is questionable at this point, so they haven't committed to holding the fireworks then either. Grrrr!
So, now I have a refrigerator full of BBQ goodies and no BBQ to serve them at. Guess Johnny and I will be eating A LOT over the next few days. *Sigh*
I wanted to share an article that I recently came across that I found very interesting and insightful, especially for someone like myself who has embarked on a journey and of continuous self-discovery and improvement. I think we could all benefit from following some of these simple suggestions...
Learning Self-Discipline
by: John MacArthur
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For many years, I have had the privilege of knowing the renowned classical guitarist Christopher Parkening. By the time he was thirty, he had become a master of his instrument. But such mastery did not come easily or cheaply. While other children played and participated in sports, he spent several hours a day practicing the guitar. The result of that self-disciplined commitment is proficiency on his instrument that few can match.
Self-discipline is important in any endeavor of life. It's best defined as the ability to regulate one's conduct by principle and sound judgment, rather than by impulse, desire, or social custom. Biblically, self-discipline may be summarized in one word: obedience. To exercise self-discipline is to avoid evil by staying within the bounds of God's law.
I'm grateful for my parents, coaches, professors, and the others who helped me develop self-discipline in my own life. People who have the ability to concentrate, focus on their goals, and consistently stay within their priorities tend to succeed. Whether in academics, the arts, or athletics, success generally comes to the self-disciplined.
Since self-discipline is so important, how do you develop it? How can parents help their children develop it? Here are some practical tips that I've found helpful:
Start with small things. Clean your room at home or your desk at work. Train yourself to put things where they belong when they are out of place. Make the old adage "A place for everything and everything in its place" your motto. After you've cleaned your room or desk, extend that discipline of neatness to the rest of your house and workplace. Get yourself to the point where orderliness matters. Learn how to keep your environment clean and clear so you can function without a myriad of distractions. Such neatness will further develop self-discipline by forcing you to make decisions about what is important and what is not.
Learning self-discipline in the little things of life prepares the way for big successes. On the other hand, those who are undisciplined in small matters will likely be undisciplined in more important issues. In the words of Solomon, it is the little foxes that ruin the vineyards (Song of Sol. 2:15). And when it comes to a person's integrity and credibility, there are no small issues.
A famous rhyme, based on the defeat of King Richard III of England at the battle of Bosworth Field in 1485, illustrates the importance of concentrating on small details:
For want of a nail, a shoe was lost,
For want of a shoe, a horse was lost,
For want of a horse, a battle was lost,
For want of a battle, a kingdom was lost,
And all for want of a horseshoe nail.
Get yourself organized. Make a schedule, however detailed or general you are comfortable with, and stick to it. Have a to-do list of things you need to accomplish. Using a daily planning book or a personal information manager program on your computer would be helpful. But get organized, even if all you do is jot down appointments and to-do items on a piece of scrap paper. The simple reality is that if you don't control your time, everything (and everyone) else will.
Don't constantly seek to be entertained. When you have free time, do things that are productive instead of merely entertaining. Read a good book, listen to classical music, take a walk, or have a conversation with someone. In other words, learn to entertain yourself with things that are challenging, stimulating, and creative. Things that are of no value except to entertain you make a very small contribution to your well-being.
Be on time. If you're supposed to be somewhere at a specific time, be there on time. The apostle Paul listed proper use of time as a mark of true spiritual wisdom: "Be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil" (Eph. 5:15-16). Being punctual marks a life that is organized. It reveals a person whose desires, activities, and responsibilities are under control. Being on time also acknowledges the importance of other people and the value of their time.
Keep your word. "Undertake not what you cannot perform," a young George Washington exhorted himself, "but be careful to keep your promise." If you say you're going to do something, do it—when you said you would do it and how you said you would do it. When you make commitments, see them through. That calls for the discipline to properly evaluate whether you have the time and capability to do something. And once you've made the commitment, self-discipline will enable you to keep it.
Do the most difficult tasks first. Most people do just the opposite, spending their time doing the easier, low priority tasks. But when they run out of time (and energy), the difficult, high-priority tasks are left undone.
Finish what you start. Some people's lives are a sad litany of unfinished projects. In the words of poet John Greenleaf Whittier,
For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
If you start something, finish it. Therein lies an important key to developing self-discipline.
Accept correction. Correction helps you develop self-discipline by showing you what you need to avoid. Thus, it should not be rejected, but accepted gladly. Solomon wrote "Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days" (Prov. 19:20); and "He whose ear listens to the life giving reproof will dwell among the wise. He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding" (Prov. 15:31-32).
Practice self-denial. Learn to say no to your feelings and impulses. Occasionally deny yourself pleasures that are perfectly legitimate for you to enjoy. Skip dessert after a meal. Drink a glass of iced tea instead of having that banana split that you love. Don't eat that doughnut that caught your eye. Refraining from those things will remind your body who is in charge.
Welcome responsibility. Volunteer to do things that need to be done. That will force you to have your life organized enough to have the time for such projects.
These practical suggestions may not seem to involve any deep spiritual principles. Yet you cannot split your life into the secular and the spiritual. Instead you must live every aspect of your life to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31). And self-discipline cultivated in the seemingly mundane things of life will spill over into the spiritual realm.
Adapted from The Pillars of Christian Character by John MacArthur. © 1998 by John F MacArthur, Jr. Used by permission.
I have absolutely no motivation to work today and I have no idea why. I love my new job (not so new anymore, I guess) and everyday I love the challenge of tackling my ever-growing "to do list" (yes, I actually keep a list) and accomplishing as much as possible. I love the way I feel after having a productive day and strive each day to be more productive than the last. But, for some crazy reason, today is a different story. I cannot bring myself to do anything. I just don't want to work...period. So, to eat up some of the time left in the work day, I will blog!
Some random thoughts because it's a random day...
My dear friend and old college roomie, Elaine, is getting married tomorrow! John and I are both really excited for the wedding because we love weddings and we love Nick and Elaine, so the two together is double the fun! I am also excited to get to see and spend some quality time with some of my other friends from college who will also be attending. And, as if the day couldn't get any better...I've got the most fabulous dress to wear ;-) Can't wait!
I am also looking forward to tomorrow because...drum roll please...John is finally getting the stitches out of his thumb. Back on Friday the 13th (go figure), John sliced his thumb open and had to go to the emergency room and get 7 stitches! I've had to re-bandage this thumb almost everyday for the last two weeks, which is no easy feat due to the fact that John is so particular that if his thumb was not wrapped exactly right, he'd take off the bandages and make me start over. My mom is going to take the stitches out when we drop Bailey off at her house tomorrow (she is dog sitting while we are away). Having a skilled nurse in the family is very handy :-)
I am so excited for next Thursday when we will hold our 3rd annual July 4th BBQ! Our city holds their Independence Day celebration each year on July 3rd at the park in our neighborhood, so each year we have friends and family over for good food, drinks and games, and then we all walk to the park to watch the fireworks! I love traditions, and this is one of the first that we started after getting married. This year we are planning to have a ladder ball tournament, complete with an entrance fee and brackets and refs! John and I are extremely competitive and I think we've got a good chance of taking all the glory!!!
Last week I finally did something that I've been wanting to do for a long time...I got a library card! I checked out 3 books and have already finished one and am almost through another. I love to read and I'm so excited to finally be doing more of it. For all you blog readers out there...I need book recommendations!!!
OK, OK...I've wasted enough time. I suppose I should try to do something productive for the next 30 minutes (when I plan to run out the door as fast as I can!!!).
Happy Friday!
Let me preface this post with the fact that I already realize how stupid it will sound. But, in the interest of full disclosure and true self-reflection, I feel compelled to put this into writing.
It's hard for me to admit, but I've come to the realization that I can't handle my alcohol. Let's not get confused here, though - I do not, in any way, have a drinking problem. There is a difference. Let me explain...
I don't particularly like "to drink". I loooove wine, and enjoy a good glass or two, red or white (but never blush), every now and then. At dinner, after a stressful day, out with friends...a glass of wine is just fantastic. But, I am never one to go out with the intention on getting smashed. Sure, maybe back in the old college days this was more of my intention, but even then I still was nowhere close to the way that most typical college students are. I could handle it back then, though, so it was ok. I could go out, have a good time, and that was it.
Maybe my body has changed, maybe it's because life is a lot more complicated now, maybe it's because I've changed, but whatever the reason, I cannot handle my alcohol anymore. I am very in tune with my body and I know (and respect) my limits. I very rarely go past my limit when it comes to drinking. Nine point nine times out of ten, I will have a drink, maybe two, and I am happy and, more importantly, I am finished. But (and I'm sure this happens to everyone) once in a great while, I go past my limit. It's never intentional, and it's usually way too late before I realize it, but it happens. And that's where the trouble is. And what is the trouble, you might ask?
First, I get mean, and then I get emotional. I usually try to pick a fight with anyone in my path, then I yell, and then I cry. Ugh! It's so embarrassing just knowing this, never mind writing it and posting it on my blog. It's embarrassing to me for several reasons: (1) I am a private person and I hate to show weakness to anyone; (2) I have always prided myself on being a strong and confident woman, and this behavior, although extremely rare, makes me question myself, which I never, ever should do; and (3) It's completely foolish and totally preventable. Thankfully, I have an extremely understanding husband who always makes me feel infinitely better after an "incident", but I cannot let his compassion excuse my behavior. It is not ok...ever.
By putting this into writing, it makes it much more real and I can no longer ignore, minimize or deny it. No matter how rare it is, I refuse to let it happen again, not for anyone else but myself. Because I demand more from myself. Because I deserve more for myself. Because my personal mission is perfectly clear: To live my best life. To be the best person I know how to be. To be grateful for even the smallest things in life. To live according to my own expectations, not the world's. To live to impress, improve and inspire myself. To live with integrity. To live without regrets. To live my dreams, not dream my life. I acknowledge and take pride in the fact that my life is in my own control, to do with it what I choose...and I choose to be happy. My thoughts , feelings, emotions, and actions are my own. Everyday I make a conscious decision to do the best and be the best that I can.
And I will, because when I set my mind to it, I can do anything. As the plaque that my husband gave to me the day that I ran the Cape Cod Marathon says: "The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it."
After a wonderful and relaxing week away from real life, I am back. I am still trying to get caught up at work, which is difficult considering I have practically been in back-to-back meetings for the past two days. And, naturally, when things are already hectic for me, life throws a few wrenches into the mix.
First, I woke up this morning to a banging noise in the attic. My dear husband was frantically looking for our 2006 and 2007 tax returns that he needed today (way to leave it until last minute to look for them!). We are both extremely organized people and have an excellent filing system for all of our bills and important paperwork...perhaps too organized. It appears, although it is not confirmed, that the hubby THREW AWAY our tax returns in a effort to clean up our files. THREW THEM AWAY!!! With all of our personal information...SSN's, how much we make, where we work, etc... Ugh! So, as he flew out the door to work this morning (running late due to the frantic, last minute search), I was charged with the task of contacting our accountant and arranging to get new copies of the returns....today! So, I figured I'd just call the accountant when I got to work this morning to arrange getting new copies. But, when I arrived this morning, I was greeted by an IT person who had come to replace my desktop computer with the laptop that I requested a month and a half ago! Seriously, a month and a half has gone by and he shows up THIS MORNING!!! The process of converting the computer took forever...which made me late to my 9:00 meeting, which then made me late to my 10:00 meeting, which then made me completely unprepared for my 11:00 meeting. Thankfully my 1:00 meeting was moved to a different day, so I actually get to sit at my desk until 2:00 to do my work (then it's off to more meetings for the rest of the day!). So, speaking of doing my work, since my time is limited today, I'd better quit blogging and get to it. I just need to get my frustrations out.
Vent over!
So, perhaps I jumped the gun. The ex finally responded to me last week (although I am skeptical that the only reason is because I asked a mutual friend to find out why I was being ignored and I think it made him realize that not responding to me made him look like a donkey). But, whatever, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. So, consider this a retraction of my last post.
I'm feeling a little disgusted with my ex-boyfriend right now.
I haven't spoken to him in over 2 and a half years, and we broke up nearly 8 years ago. That's right, eight. It's ANCIENT history. A past life. I know that the break-up was really hard on him, and I've always felt terrible about that because the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt him, but I couldn't just stay with him to make him happy. I was not in love with him anymore. I did not see a future for us together. It was a terribly difficult thing to do, and I probably should have done it months before I did, but it had to be done. He's a great guy who deserves all the happiness in the world. He just wasn't the right one for me.
I thought that we were on at least semi-decent terms. It took a while, but eventually we were able to talk (and by talk, I mean email) on friendly terms. What have you been doing? How's your family? Blah, blah, blah. I know that he's always hated the fact that I am with John...he's always blamed John for our break-up, even though John had absolutely nothing to do with it...but he at least faked being nice to me about it. So, about two and a half years ago, he found out I was engaged. I got this sappy email from him about how happy he was for me and that he wished me nothing but the best. I actually thought it was true. But, not so much...I haven't heard from him since.
Now, I am being complete ignored by him. I found his high school class ring and some old photos of him and his friends in my mom's storage space that we cleaned out a few weeks ago (see post below). I've emailed and sent him a message on myspace to find out if he wanted these things and I've received no response. Not a word. What a lame-o. I've tried to be nice and give him these things that I thought he might like, but apparently he feels like completely ignoring my attempts to return his things to him is the best course of action. Whatever.
So, I am seriously thinking of taking my husband's advise and selling my ex's ring for some extra cash. Maybe I'll buy my husband a present with it. I bet the ex would LOVE that.
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