I usually try to keep this blog positive. I am, by nature, a positive person and I try to live my life with an optimistic outlook. But, today, I am upset. I don’t want to get into specifics, but let’s just say that sometimes people aren’t what you think they are. My husband always says that I give too much and get too little in return from others. And in response, I always tell him that I won’t play games…I’m not going to treat someone in a certain way just because they have treated me that way. I will always try to be the best that I can regardless of others, because I am the one that has to live with my actions. I know that if I were to treat someone poorly it would eat at me for a long time. I really do try to be a good friend, but the cold hard truth is that not everyone extends that same courtesy to me.
There is a particular person in my life that I’ve finally accepted is not a good friend to me. There have been little incidents and occurrences over the past couple of years that have hurt me and made me feel uneasy and upset, but I tried to brush them off and tell myself that I’m just being paranoid. Why would someone do these things to me when they are supposed to be my friend? Well, I am now convinced that I was not imagining these things…they are real. And it is quite clear that this person either doesn’t value my friendship or doesn’t want to be friends with me at all. I don’t know why that would be the case…why would anyone purposely blow off someone that wants to be a true and genuine friend to you? I am not perfect, not even close, and I haven’t always been the best friend, but I feel that I have grown, matured and changed a lot in the past few years and I have a much different outlook on friendship. I love and cherish my friends and do not take them for granted. I try to be the best and most loyal friend that I can. Distance and life in general sometimes make that hard, but no amount of time or distance would ever change the way that I feel about my friends. I will always try to do my best, and I know that those that are true friends will recognize this fact and try to show me the same courtesy.
The bottom line is that I can’t allow this situation to hurt me anymore. I have to accept the truth of the matter, make peace with it, and move on. I have way too much good in my life to let this situation bring me down. I have recognized the fact that this is not a true friendship and that this person has hurt me, and with this knowledge I now have to move forward. I am not going to dwell on this, or even think about it, anymore because I've already wasted too much time doing so and it is not worth it. Friendship cannot be one-sided. Friendship is not a title, it is an action. This is not a friendship. And, as much as I wish that things could be different, they are not.
