My mind has been swirling with a thousand different thoughts these past few days, so I'm hoping by getting them down on paper (proverbial paper, that is) that I'll straighten myself out!
I am going for allergy testing this afternoon. I am not nervous that I'm going to find out I'm allergic to something, but rather that I'm not allergic to anything. Then I'll really start to worry about what's been causing my 4 month runny nose. It's easier just to assume it's allergies.
I went to a pitch for a pyramid scheme last night. My mom convinced me to go and it was the biggest waste of 2 hours in my life. It felt so slimy and skeevy. Yuck!
Mornings have been such a challenge for me lately. I don't know if it's the dark/cold combination, or whether it's the fact that my schedule has been completely disrupted lately due to having lots of time off, but whatever it is, I don't like it. I like popping out of bed and being at the gym at 5:30. I do not like barely dragging myself from bed to shower at 7:00.
I reluctantly "crashed" a high school reunion last week. Crystal convinced me to go to the class of '98 reunion (even though we graduated in '99) because we were "invited". It turned out to be the lamest, most uncomfortable experience I've had in quite some time. Everyone seemed exactly the same as they were in HS and it was so fake. Plus, all of the "my life is so fabulous" and "I make so much money" and "I am just so happy" makes me want to vomit. Quit trying to convince me that your life is so great. I guarantee it's not.
To MBA or not to MBA, that is the question. I am close to finishing my first class and I'm just not convinced that I want to continue to pursue this. I cannot think of one good reason not to, but yet I still can't psych myself up for it. I think it's yet another sign that my "professional life" is supposed to go in another direction. Unfortunately, I am still waiting to have that revelation telling what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Does anyone else feel this confused? Why can't I be one of those people that has known what they've wanted to do with their life since they were 7 years old. When I was 7, I wanted to be a florist. Now, I work in compliance. Maybe I should give floristry (is that even a word?) a chance.
Sista sledge has got to go. I love my sister dearly, but she needs to get her hiney out of my house. She is a slob. Her room is disgusting (and it smells like pee). She's been smoking in there too. Seriously, how disrespectful is that? We don't smoke, and we don't allow others to smoke in our house. Who does she think she is that she can just make a mess and smoke in there when she feels like it. Here's the kicker in it all. She has no home of her own, no money to find her own place, she can't afford her own cell phone or car insurance (my dad pays for them), she's in debt, she's not in school, she's making close to minimum wage at a dead end job, she's less than a month from having no health insurance. She is really in a bad position, and if one thing goes wrong, she's screwed. If her car breaks down, if she gets sick, if she gets laid off, etc... she will seriously have nothing. Pretty dire situation, right? If it were you, wouldn't you be freaking out and doing everything in your power to get yourself out of that situation? Well, she apparently has other plans. She's buying her ghetto on again, off again boyfriend a $400 video game system for Christmas. Boy, does she have her priorities straight! HA! Please tell me what person with half a brain would say "Gee, I have no place to live, I'm in debt, I'm completely screwed if one thing in my life goes wrong, but obviously buying this loser guy who probably won't be in my life in mere months from now a $400 Christmas gift is the most important thing I can do with my life right now." Not "Gee, maybe I should save all the extra money I have to get back on my feet" or "Gee, maybe I should try to pay my own bills instead of mooch off my dad" or "Gee, maybe I should kick in a little cash for the household expenses at my sister's house since I've been living there scott free for 3 months". Nope. It's a video game system for Geoffrey. Ugh!!!!!
OK, now that I've been a Debby Downer and vented, I actually feel better. Sometimes you just need to scream, right?
