Performance Anxiety

I had my mid-year performance review yesterday, and let me tell you...I rocked it! My new manager absolutely loves me and had nothing but extremely positive feedback. She even went as far as telling me that if I continue on the same path for the remainder of the year (meaning, continue performing as I have for the past 3 months) then I will definitely receive the highest performance rating, an honor reserved for only a very small percentage of employees throughout the entire company. And the higher the rating, the higher the raise and bonus. I better stay on top of my game!

This wonderful feedback only reminds me of how thankful I am for having gotten this incredible opportunity. I will continue to work hard to prove that I am worthy of it!

Picture Post

I haven't posted many pictures on my blog lately (mostly due to sheer laziness), so I thought I'd post a few of my recent faves...


First, our trip to the Cape...

Nick and Elaine's wedding...

And finally, tailgaiting at the Brooks and Dunn concert...Woo Hoo!

Long Weekend Recap (and more thoughts on babies)

Long weekends are usually so hard to come back from, but for some reason I feel refreshed and invigorated today and I am ready to take on the world. I have already been very productive this morning, and I am only taking a short break to write this blog post while I eat my mid-morning snack. Maybe my motivation today stems from the fact that I have been inexplicably unmotivated for the past few weeks, which is very out of character for me, or maybe it's because I had a great long weekend (more to come on that), but whatever the reason, I am so glad to be feeling fabulous and I feel a renewed desire to tackle any challenge that I face.

The long weekend recap...after being very disappointed about the cancellation of the fireworks and subsequent cancellation of our annual BBQ last Thursday (and then being very angry at the local weathermen when it was COMPLETELY DRY at fireworks time), I was very happy to wake up Friday morning to the realization that I had three glorious days off!

Friday consisted of a great workout, a lazy afternoon with the hubby, and then dinner and a comedy show with my in-laws. We had dinner at Carabba's (so super yummy!) and then saw a show at the Funny Bone Comedy Club in Manchester, CT. The headliner was Theo Von (I vaguely remembered seeing on MTV's Road Rules) who was surprisingly very funny. In fact, the host, opener and the headliner were all very funny, which is rare. It was a great night and a fun and different way to spend the 4th of July. We did manage to see a bit of the Springfield fireworks on our ride home, which was a nice way to end the evening.

Saturday was a friend-filled day for us. After having brunch with John's parents and grandparents, we headed over to one of John's friend's houses to watch the baseball game. After a few innings, we left there and went to our recently engaged friends house. Yes, that's right...Steph and Andy are engaged! It's so exciting for them...a baby on the way and now a wedding to plan. We spent the afternoon and early evening just chatting and snacking and having fun. John was unstoppable on the ping pong table as well, and went undefeated the entire day! I have to say, though, that the day gave me wicked baby fever :-) We spent the day with Steph and Andy, who as previously mentioned have a baby on the way, and with another couple, Joe and Christina (who is also pregnant), and thier 3 year old daughter Brooke (who was absolutely adorable!). Steph is about 14 weeks along and Christina is about 21 weeks and they spent much of the afternoon discussing pregnancy, labor, babies, parenthood, planning for their next, their growing families, etc... I was so engrossed in the conversation, even though I had very little to contribute, and I found myself a little sad that I was not experiencing the same excitment that these two pregnant (and glowing!) women were experiencing. I know that only a short while ago I posted about not being ready for that step, but I find myself quickly changing my tune. I am feeling more and more ready with each passing day. Although I still want to wait a little longer before taking that step, I feel confident that I am ready to be a great mother and I look forward to starting our family. Anywho...enough about that! We capped Saturday evening off with a movie at home (we watched "Untraceable" with Dianne Lane...not that good).

Sunday began with a hard workout, but that was only the beginning of my hard work. I don't know what got into me, but I spent the entire day cleaning the house like I've never done before. Laundry, dishes, sweeping, vacumming, mopping, scrubbing, washing, dusting...I deep cleaned the house top to bottom! I even cleaned and disinfected all of our gym equipment! In addition, I went to Walmart for some needed household items, I went grocery shopping, I cooked a fabulous dinner, and I took Ms. Bailey for a great long walk. What a fabulously productive day! I felt so good about all that I accomplished...our house is spotless (although it is always very clean, but now it is especially clean) and now I can start this new week with virtually nothing on my home to-do list. I love it!

On a final note for this Monday morning post...our city's fireworks have been rescheduled for August 3rd, my 27th birthday! How perfect is that?!?

Severe Thunderstorms = No Party :-(

Well, the festivities planned for this evening have been cancelled due to the threat of severe thunderstorms. Boo!

I was really looking forward to tongiht...having a party, seeing the fireworks, etc...but it really makes no sense to have everyone over just to be cooped up in my house while the weather rages outside. I am hopeful that they will reschedule the fireworks for next weekend...the rain date was originally supposed to be this Sunday, but the weather for Sunday is questionable at this point, so they haven't committed to holding the fireworks then either. Grrrr!

So, now I have a refrigerator full of BBQ goodies and no BBQ to serve them at. Guess Johnny and I will be eating A LOT over the next few days. *Sigh*

Learning Self-Discipline

I wanted to share an article that I recently came across that I found very interesting and insightful, especially for someone like myself who has embarked on a journey and of continuous self-discovery and improvement. I think we could all benefit from following some of these simple suggestions...

Learning Self-Discipline
by: John MacArthur


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


For many years, I have had the privilege of knowing the renowned classical guitarist Christopher Parkening. By the time he was thirty, he had become a master of his instrument. But such mastery did not come easily or cheaply. While other children played and participated in sports, he spent several hours a day practicing the guitar. The result of that self-disciplined commitment is proficiency on his instrument that few can match.

Self-discipline is important in any endeavor of life. It's best defined as the ability to regulate one's conduct by principle and sound judgment, rather than by impulse, desire, or social custom. Biblically, self-discipline may be summarized in one word: obedience. To exercise self-discipline is to avoid evil by staying within the bounds of God's law.

I'm grateful for my parents, coaches, professors, and the others who helped me develop self-discipline in my own life. People who have the ability to concentrate, focus on their goals, and consistently stay within their priorities tend to succeed. Whether in academics, the arts, or athletics, success generally comes to the self-disciplined.

Since self-discipline is so important, how do you develop it? How can parents help their children develop it? Here are some practical tips that I've found helpful:

Start with small things. Clean your room at home or your desk at work. Train yourself to put things where they belong when they are out of place. Make the old adage "A place for everything and everything in its place" your motto. After you've cleaned your room or desk, extend that discipline of neatness to the rest of your house and workplace. Get yourself to the point where orderliness matters. Learn how to keep your environment clean and clear so you can function without a myriad of distractions. Such neatness will further develop self-discipline by forcing you to make decisions about what is important and what is not.

Learning self-discipline in the little things of life prepares the way for big successes. On the other hand, those who are undisciplined in small matters will likely be undisciplined in more important issues. In the words of Solomon, it is the little foxes that ruin the vineyards (Song of Sol. 2:15). And when it comes to a person's integrity and credibility, there are no small issues.

A famous rhyme, based on the defeat of King Richard III of England at the battle of Bosworth Field in 1485, illustrates the importance of concentrating on small details:
For want of a nail, a shoe was lost,
For want of a shoe, a horse was lost,
For want of a horse, a battle was lost,
For want of a battle, a kingdom was lost,
And all for want of a horseshoe nail.

Get yourself organized. Make a schedule, however detailed or general you are comfortable with, and stick to it. Have a to-do list of things you need to accomplish. Using a daily planning book or a personal information manager program on your computer would be helpful. But get organized, even if all you do is jot down appointments and to-do items on a piece of scrap paper. The simple reality is that if you don't control your time, everything (and everyone) else will.

Don't constantly seek to be entertained. When you have free time, do things that are productive instead of merely entertaining. Read a good book, listen to classical music, take a walk, or have a conversation with someone. In other words, learn to entertain yourself with things that are challenging, stimulating, and creative. Things that are of no value except to entertain you make a very small contribution to your well-being.

Be on time. If you're supposed to be somewhere at a specific time, be there on time. The apostle Paul listed proper use of time as a mark of true spiritual wisdom: "Be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil" (Eph. 5:15-16). Being punctual marks a life that is organized. It reveals a person whose desires, activities, and responsibilities are under control. Being on time also acknowledges the importance of other people and the value of their time.

Keep your word. "Undertake not what you cannot perform," a young George Washington exhorted himself, "but be careful to keep your promise." If you say you're going to do something, do it—when you said you would do it and how you said you would do it. When you make commitments, see them through. That calls for the discipline to properly evaluate whether you have the time and capability to do something. And once you've made the commitment, self-discipline will enable you to keep it.

Do the most difficult tasks first. Most people do just the opposite, spending their time doing the easier, low priority tasks. But when they run out of time (and energy), the difficult, high-priority tasks are left undone.

Finish what you start. Some people's lives are a sad litany of unfinished projects. In the words of poet John Greenleaf Whittier,
For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: "It might have been!"

If you start something, finish it. Therein lies an important key to developing self-discipline.

Accept correction. Correction helps you develop self-discipline by showing you what you need to avoid. Thus, it should not be rejected, but accepted gladly. Solomon wrote "Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days" (Prov. 19:20); and "He whose ear listens to the life giving reproof will dwell among the wise. He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding" (Prov. 15:31-32).

Practice self-denial. Learn to say no to your feelings and impulses. Occasionally deny yourself pleasures that are perfectly legitimate for you to enjoy. Skip dessert after a meal. Drink a glass of iced tea instead of having that banana split that you love. Don't eat that doughnut that caught your eye. Refraining from those things will remind your body who is in charge.

Welcome responsibility. Volunteer to do things that need to be done. That will force you to have your life organized enough to have the time for such projects.

These practical suggestions may not seem to involve any deep spiritual principles. Yet you cannot split your life into the secular and the spiritual. Instead you must live every aspect of your life to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31). And self-discipline cultivated in the seemingly mundane things of life will spill over into the spiritual realm.

Adapted from The Pillars of Christian Character by John MacArthur. © 1998 by John F MacArthur, Jr. Used by permission.

Work Shmurk

I have absolutely no motivation to work today and I have no idea why. I love my new job (not so new anymore, I guess) and everyday I love the challenge of tackling my ever-growing "to do list" (yes, I actually keep a list) and accomplishing as much as possible. I love the way I feel after having a productive day and strive each day to be more productive than the last. But, for some crazy reason, today is a different story. I cannot bring myself to do anything. I just don't want to work...period. So, to eat up some of the time left in the work day, I will blog!

Some random thoughts because it's a random day...

My dear friend and old college roomie, Elaine, is getting married tomorrow! John and I are both really excited for the wedding because we love weddings and we love Nick and Elaine, so the two together is double the fun! I am also excited to get to see and spend some quality time with some of my other friends from college who will also be attending. And, as if the day couldn't get any better...I've got the most fabulous dress to wear ;-) Can't wait!

I am also looking forward to tomorrow because...drum roll please...John is finally getting the stitches out of his thumb. Back on Friday the 13th (go figure), John sliced his thumb open and had to go to the emergency room and get 7 stitches! I've had to re-bandage this thumb almost everyday for the last two weeks, which is no easy feat due to the fact that John is so particular that if his thumb was not wrapped exactly right, he'd take off the bandages and make me start over. My mom is going to take the stitches out when we drop Bailey off at her house tomorrow (she is dog sitting while we are away). Having a skilled nurse in the family is very handy :-)

I am so excited for next Thursday when we will hold our 3rd annual July 4th BBQ! Our city holds their Independence Day celebration each year on July 3rd at the park in our neighborhood, so each year we have friends and family over for good food, drinks and games, and then we all walk to the park to watch the fireworks! I love traditions, and this is one of the first that we started after getting married. This year we are planning to have a ladder ball tournament, complete with an entrance fee and brackets and refs! John and I are extremely competitive and I think we've got a good chance of taking all the glory!!!

Last week I finally did something that I've been wanting to do for a long time...I got a library card! I checked out 3 books and have already finished one and am almost through another. I love to read and I'm so excited to finally be doing more of it. For all you blog readers out there...I need book recommendations!!!

OK, OK...I've wasted enough time. I suppose I should try to do something productive for the next 30 minutes (when I plan to run out the door as fast as I can!!!).

Happy Friday!

You Booze, You Lose

Let me preface this post with the fact that I already realize how stupid it will sound. But, in the interest of full disclosure and true self-reflection, I feel compelled to put this into writing.

It's hard for me to admit, but I've come to the realization that I can't handle my alcohol. Let's not get confused here, though - I do not, in any way, have a drinking problem. There is a difference. Let me explain...

I don't particularly like "to drink". I loooove wine, and enjoy a good glass or two, red or white (but never blush), every now and then. At dinner, after a stressful day, out with friends...a glass of wine is just fantastic. But, I am never one to go out with the intention on getting smashed. Sure, maybe back in the old college days this was more of my intention, but even then I still was nowhere close to the way that most typical college students are. I could handle it back then, though, so it was ok. I could go out, have a good time, and that was it.

Maybe my body has changed, maybe it's because life is a lot more complicated now, maybe it's because I've changed, but whatever the reason, I cannot handle my alcohol anymore. I am very in tune with my body and I know (and respect) my limits. I very rarely go past my limit when it comes to drinking. Nine point nine times out of ten, I will have a drink, maybe two, and I am happy and, more importantly, I am finished. But (and I'm sure this happens to everyone) once in a great while, I go past my limit. It's never intentional, and it's usually way too late before I realize it, but it happens. And that's where the trouble is. And what is the trouble, you might ask?

First, I get mean, and then I get emotional. I usually try to pick a fight with anyone in my path, then I yell, and then I cry. Ugh! It's so embarrassing just knowing this, never mind writing it and posting it on my blog. It's embarrassing to me for several reasons: (1) I am a private person and I hate to show weakness to anyone; (2) I have always prided myself on being a strong and confident woman, and this behavior, although extremely rare, makes me question myself, which I never, ever should do; and (3) It's completely foolish and totally preventable. Thankfully, I have an extremely understanding husband who always makes me feel infinitely better after an "incident", but I cannot let his compassion excuse my behavior. It is not ok...ever.

By putting this into writing, it makes it much more real and I can no longer ignore, minimize or deny it. No matter how rare it is, I refuse to let it happen again, not for anyone else but myself. Because I demand more from myself. Because I deserve more for myself. Because my personal mission is perfectly clear: To live my best life. To be the best person I know how to be. To be grateful for even the smallest things in life. To live according to my own expectations, not the world's. To live to impress, improve and inspire myself. To live with integrity. To live without regrets. To live my dreams, not dream my life. I acknowledge and take pride in the fact that my life is in my own control, to do with it what I choose...and I choose to be happy. My thoughts , feelings, emotions, and actions are my own. Everyday I make a conscious decision to do the best and be the best that I can.

And I will, because when I set my mind to it, I can do anything. As the plaque that my husband gave to me the day that I ran the Cape Cod Marathon says: "The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it."